I haven’t managed to get a whole lot done in the last couple of weeks due to heat and humidity. Mostly just maintenance and some random pecking at things within range of the fan. JD has helped by cleaning off the top of the fridge, and washing the dust ‘n’ stuff off the front doors (thank you!). The dogs have been spoiled a lot, too, which is never a bad thing.
I had to get the cable guy in one night a couple of weeks ago, and that sent me into a bit of an anxiety spiral. I had the living room almost presentable, then he had to check things in the basement. *gasp of horror* Full gold stars to Greg the Cable Guy for his bravery and humour in facing that situation. I also discovered that the crack in the front basement wall has been leaking due to all the rain we’ve had. Discovered = *step squish ick*. That’s a problem for another day. It took about 5 days to overcome the shame and anxiety of having seen my place through the eyes of a stranger. My brain kept screaming, “OMG! OMGOMGOMG!! Run! Hide!” Thankfully it’s better now. Oh, and my PVR is working wonderfully, now.
It’s been a time of wins and losses, too. The oldest, and last, offspring of my once-thriving mousery passed at a record-setting age of 2 years 287 days (over 150 in people years). Bonus was an amazing little boy, and I’m going to miss him. On the flipside, I successfully completed my first website commission gained by advertising on facebook. With a few hiccups, not unexpected, it worked out really well, and I’m quite proud of that. I’ve also managed to drum up a few more leads that could become clients in the future.
In spite of all that, there’s a pervasive feeling of being stalled. I know I shouldn’t, but I was looking at everything last night and there seems so very much still to do. In spite of all the work and effort, there’s still so very, very much to do. It feels like it’ll never be done, never be anywhere close to manageable. I know, keep going, every bit helps, etc. I am, I’m not stopping. I’m going to do more tonight and try not to look around too much.
Mostly I think I need a holiday. There’s been so much happening, and so constantly, for so long, that I’m running out of oomph. Or I need enough more clients that I can afford to live on that income alone. Working from home would definitely be a boon to getting on top of everything. Just imagine how much I could get done while I’m procrastinating from what I should be doing!
Anyway, I know it was rambling, but there it is. The last month in a nutshell. Some highs, some lows, some gains, some losses. Life as she is lived.
Tags: discouraged, imperfection, maintenance, shame, slowly